The Best Place to Be: Anchored When Everything Else Feels Weird

Welp, if you’re reading this, you’re probably in that weird space where your hair is doing its own thing (or not doing anything at all), and you’re just trying to figure out how to be a human person while your reflection keeps throwing you curveballs.

I see you, and I totally get it. And there's no point in me trying to sugarcoat it, because that's not going to help. What will help? Getting real about how isolating and overwhelming this whole experience actually is.

When Your Control-Freak Tendencies Meet Reality

Here’s the thing about me: I’m a planner. I like my spreadsheets colour-coded, my life organized, and my future mapped out with bullet points. I’m the person who needs to know the why, the when, and the how of literally everything.

So when my hair started to exit stage left without my permission? Yeah, I lost it.

Because here’s what nobody tells you about hair loss—it’s not just about the hair. It’s about control, about looking in the mirror and not recognizing yourself, and feeling like your body is making executive decisions without consulting you first.

Rude, honestly.

The Part Where I Had to Chill Out (Reluctantly)

I spent months...ok, years trying to figure everything out. Reading every article, consulting every doctor, Googling at 2 AM like that was going to magically fix things. (Spoiler: it didn’t. It just made me more tired, paranoid, and exacerbated my already insomniac behaviours.)

But somewhere in all that chaos, I had to remember something: I’m not actually in control of everything. Shocking, I know.

There’s this Bible verse—Proverbs 3:5-6—that says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Now, to be clear before you exit this post, I’m not here to Bible-thump you. But I’m also not going to pretend that my faith wasn’t the thing that kept me from completely spiralling. Because when everything feels out of control, you need something solid to hold onto. For me, that was remembering that there’s a God who’s got this, even when I don’t.

From Mad to… Slightly Less Mad

I was angry. Frustrated. Hurt. I wanted to stand on a rooftop and yell, “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?”

I had questions. So. Many. Questions.

And here’s what I learned: doubt and trust can exist in the same space. Doubt showed up every single day like an annoying relative who won’t leave. But I had to learn to walk forward anyway, trusting God even when doubt was riding shotgun.

2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

I had to decide to listen to what God said about me, instead of echoing the harsh words I hurled at my own reflection. The way I spoke to myself was brutal—I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I saw myself as ugly, too dark; I hated the discoloration and hyperpigmentation on my scalp (still there). Jealousy and resentment burned whenever I saw others’ hair, and that envy just deepened my sense of unfairness. Moving forward felt impossible, yet the comfort of looking back kept me stuck. But here’s what shifted things for me: perhaps God was gently guiding me to set my gaze on him.

1. Download Apps That Don’t Make You Feel Worse

Your phone can actually be useful for something other than doom-scrolling. I started by downloading the Bible App and following plans focused on identity, peace, and trusting God—simple reminders of truth when my thoughts tried to run wild.

I also added:

• I Am – Daily Affirmations

• Motivation: Daily Quotes

They’re like pocket-sized hype squads—gentle, encouraging nudges that show up right when your brain decides to be unkind -  words that help redirect your mindset.  Sometimes growth doesn’t start with a big life change. Sometimes it starts with changing what you let speak to you every day.

2. Curate Your Content Diet

If something makes you feel bad, stop consuming it. Simple as that. I started listening to more worship music and encouraging podcasts, and way less of... everything else that was dragging me down.

I also rediscovered something I'd forgotten I loved: reading. Like, actual books. The kind that makes you stay up until 2 AM because you have to know what happens next. I even started a Book Club that I host once a month with an amazing group of women who appreciate a good dramatic page-turner as much as I do.

Reading became therapy for me—not a way to forget my problems, but a way to step into a different world for a bit. A place where I could laugh, cry, and lose track of time because the story was too juicy to put down. Sometimes you need that escape, and there's nothing wrong with it.

3. Log Off Social Media (Yes, Really)

Instagram, TikTok, and whatever else is trending will still be there tomorrow. Stepping away doesn’t mean what others share isn’t meaningful—it simply means your mental health deserves care, too, especially when comparison starts to creep in.

Do you ever find that social media has a way of filling every quiet moment? We scroll while waiting, scroll before bed, scroll when we feel bored, lonely, or overwhelmed. Over time, that constant noise can drown out our ability to hear God clearly—or even hear ourselves think.

Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

But stillness is hard to practice when our minds are constantly consumed by other people’s lives, opinions, and expectations. Sometimes being still means closing the app, and believe me, I doomscroll, but what I am learning is that logging off isn’t about punishment or disconnecting forever. It’s about creating intentional space—space to pray without distraction, to sit with your thoughts, to process emotions instead of numbing them with endless browsing. It’s about giving your spirit room to breathe again.

When you step away, you may notice how much lighter your mind feels. You may hear God more clearly. You may even reconnect with parts of yourself that got buried under comparison, pressure, or performance.

Social media can be a tool, but it should never be your stronghold.

God is.

And sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is put the phone down, be still, and trust that whatever you’re missing online is nothing compared to what you’ll gain in His presence.

4. Write It Down

There’s something powerful about putting your thoughts on paper. I started journaling—not to be poetic or polished, but to be honest. The prayers, the rants, the questions, and the Bible verses that hit different in certain seasons all went on the page.

On hard days, I’d flip back and read what I once thought would break me—and realize it didn’t. Writing became proof of God’s faithfulness and my own resilience. It reminded me that emotions pass, seasons change, and strength often shows up quietly, one written prayer at a time.

Sometimes you don’t need answers right away. You just need a place to release it. And journaling gives your heart permission to do exactly that.

5. Talk to Yourself (Out Loud, Like a Slightly Unhinged Person)

Look in the mirror and speak truth over yourself. Yes, it feels awkward at first. Yes, you might feel like you’re starring in a motivational video no one asked for. Do it anyway.

Our minds repeat lies so easily—especially on hard days—so sometimes you have to interrupt them out loud. Speaking truth shifts the atmosphere. It reminds your heart of what God already says about you, even when your emotions disagree.

Try starting with:

• “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)

• “I am more than a conqueror.” (Romans 8:37)

• “My hair doesn’t define me. My identity is secure.”

It may feel silly, but repetition builds belief. And over time, those spoken truths begin to sound less like affirmations and more like facts.

6. Find Your People

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Whether it’s a church group, an online community, or one friend who truly gets it, you need people. You were never meant to carry everything alone.

That’s why I host support groups once a month. Fun fact: yes, it’s an alopecia support group—but about 90% of the time we’re talking about everything else. Life, boundaries, laughter, my fear of birds, and whatever else shows up that day. Of course, we talk about hair loss, but it doesn’t define us—and we don’t allow it to break us.

There’s something deeply healing about being in a room (or on a screen) with people who don’t need explanations.  Company can be comforting. It can be grounding. It can remind you that joy still exists, even amid chaos.

Find your people—the ones who let you be honest, laugh freely, and heal without pressure. That kind of community is medicine.

The Real Talk Part

I’m not going to tell you that everything’s going to magically be fine. I’m not going to promise your hair will grow back. That’s not how this works, and we both know it.

What I will tell you is this: you can choose to anchor yourself in something bigger than your circumstances. You can choose trust over doubt—not because the hard stuff disappears, but because trust reminds you that you’re not the one holding everything together.

Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

You are held. You are seen. You are loved—with hair, without hair, with a wig, with a scarf, with a bare head.

And if you need to scream into a pillow today? Do it. Cry if you need to. But then come back to this: You are anchored.

You’re going to be okay. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But one day, one breath, one moment at a time.

What’s one tiny thing you’re doing today to feel more grounded? Drop a comment—I want to hear how you’re navigating this.

xoxo

Your Bald Bestie

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