Why I Date Myself 💗
Bestie, we’re dating ourselves today!
And before anybody gets concerned, no, this is not me swearing off human interaction. 😂 I genuinely enjoy doing things on my own.
For this little solo date, I got ready, did my makeup (with plenty of yapping in between), took myself to the movies, and finished the day by getting my nails done. No managing other people’s timelines, moods, interests, or feelings… just me, myself and I.
I Got Comfortable Going Alone
There was a time when doing certain things alone could feel a little awkward. You start wondering if people are looking at you, whether you’re going to feel out of place, or if you should wait until someone is available to go with you.
I think part of that comes from this idea that certain things are supposed to be done with someone else. Dinner. Movies. Events. Vacations. We’ll happily sit at home alone, but at a restaurant alone, suddenly it feels like everybody has questions.
At some point, I realized I didn’t want to keep putting things I wanted to do on hold because I didn’t have someone to do them with. And the more I started going places by myself, the more normal it became. I stopped thinking so much about whether anyone was looking at me and started paying more attention to whether I was having a good time.
Turns out, I usually am.
There’s a Different Kind of Confidence in It
Solo dating has given me a different kind of confidence.
There’s a freedom that comes with making plans completely around yourself. I can go when I want, stay as long as I want, change my mind halfway through the day, or decide I’m ready to go home without consulting a single soul. And I’ve learned to trust myself more because of it.
That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy spending time with people. I absolutely do. I love time with my friends and family, and to be clear, solo dating isn’t a replacement for that. It’s simply another way I choose to spend my time.
Being Alone Isn’t the Same as Being Lonely
I think we’ve become so accustomed to always being connected that being alone can sometimes feel uncomfortable. There’s almost always someone a text away, something to scroll through, a notification to check, or something online ready to fill the silence. Solo dating allows me to step away from some of that. To put my phone down. Look around. Be present. Let my thoughts wander. Pay attention to what I’m feeling and enjoy where I am without needing to share, post, text, or document every moment. And when you remove some of that noise, you start learning things about yourself.
What do you actually like? Where would you go? What would you order? What sounds fun when nobody else gets a vote?
It sounds simple, but think about how often our choices are influenced by the people around us. We compromise, accommodate, and consider others, and that’s part of sharing life with people we care about. But every once in a while, it’s nice to ask yourself, “Okay, but what do I want?”
There’s a difference between loneliness and simply experiencing your own company without distraction. I’ve become much more comfortable with the latter. I still need connection. I still value my people. But I’ve also learned that I don’t need to fill every bit of silence or free time with another person or my phone.
Start Small
If doing things alone makes you nervous, you don’t have to start by booking yourself a week-long solo vacation to some faraway country.
Please.
Start small.
Choose something you already enjoy and do it by yourself. And make that first experience as comfortable as you need it to be. For me, going to the movies is an easy one. And if you’re nervous about going to the movies alone, book online, preview and pick your seat in advance, and choose an off-peak show when there are fewer people and less pressure. Then give yourself a chance to get comfortable with it because confidence doesn’t always come before we do the thing. Sometimes it comes because we did the thing.
You went even though you felt awkward.
You stayed even though you were nervous.
You realized nobody was paying nearly as much attention to you as you thought they were.
And then one day, doing something alone doesn’t feel like this big, brave thing anymore.
It’s just Tuesday.
That’s really the point!
Not becoming fearless. Not proving you don’t need anybody. And definitely not swearing off human interaction. It's about not putting your life on pause while you wait for someone else to join you.
Sometimes you go nervous. You go unsure.
You go anyway.
And somewhere along the way, you might realize your own company is good company!
Your Welcome
Your Bald Bestie
#SoloDating #DatingYourself #SelfConfidence #DoingThingsAlone #Alopecia #AlopeciaLifestyle #YourBaldBestie #UnapologeticallyBare #Torontoblogger
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